An evening stroll down Cours Mirabeau in Aix-en-Provence in December.
Courtesy: Layla Bakhshandeh
I had never thought about studying abroad until two of my best friends went abroad and told me about their experiences in Spain. The paella. The nightlife. The making of new friends who end up feeling like family. The next day, I signed up to study in France.
The golden ticket landed in my lap midway through the winter quarter of my junior year at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo: I had been accepted into a language and culture program in the south of France for the fall 2023 semester.
Along with my acceptance came a long list of forms and seminars that all the more than 1,000 Cal Poly SLO “Global Mustangs” had to complete. After all these training sessions, I felt equipped to deal with the culture shock I would feel there, and I was as prepared as one can be when I arrived.
What I was not prepared for was the unexpected culture shock that I faced when I returned to the United States. This “reverse culture shock” brought feelings of depression and confusion. I wondered how it was possible to feel so unsettled when returning to California, the place I spent my entire life, especially when my arrival in France didn’t result in any significant feelings of displacement.
Very quickly, the south of France felt like home. Daily routines formed as my French language skills progressed. International friends nestled their way into my heart, and French cheeses riddled my creaky apartment’s mini fridge.
Living in a new culture forced me to reflect on my own identity and experiences. I did miss my family and friends back in California, but that longing for loved ones was overshadowed by the glow of my new life in Aix-en-Provence.
I realized later on that it wasn’t my life that was glowing, it was me.
This inner glow was a result of massive self-growth and self-discovery that opened up for me when I moved across the world alone. In France, I was learning more about who I was and the person I wanted to be. Constant cross-cultural experiences and openness to new ideas brought me a sense of extreme fulfillment.
At times, I felt like I was trying on a new life; but just when it felt right, it began to unravel. My studies abroad were over, and I had to return to California.
The real difficulties unveiled themselves when I returned home and started my winter quarter in San Luis Obispo, and I realized I was experiencing “reverse culture shock,” which the U.S. State Department defines as the psychological, emotional and cultural aspects of reentry. (I first heard the term through a Cal Poly study-abroad training session.)
People who experience it report having academic problems, cultural identity conflict, social withdrawal, depression, anxiety and interpersonal difficulties.
And that’s how I felt. Confusion, discomfort and depressive feelings fogged my everyday actions. I missed the constant stimulation of my time in France. After growing immensely on a personal level, while I was abroad, I felt unsure of who I was in a town that had not changed at all since I left. My major classes suddenly felt insignificant, and I couldn’t tell if my friends really knew me anymore.
It felt like I was viewing my old life through a new lens, unsure of how to move in my new environment. In rushed feelings of isolation and identity confusion. This, coupled with my heavy course load, made it difficult to even think about my time away.
But burying your memories and experiences only makes it harder to adjust to life back in your home country. I realized I had to force myself to integrate my experiences in France with my life back in California.
Here are some ways I worked through my reverse culture shock:
- Journaling: Writing about my time away helped me remember all the core memories and experiences that helped me grow. Putting pen to paper helped me to process all the events I had experienced.
- Sharing stories with friends: Telling anecdotes from your travels brings old memories to light. Sharing these stories with friends and loved ones made me feel more understood.
- Joining a reentry group or finding friends who are also returning from studying abroad: Connecting with others in the same situation as I made me more comfortable opening up and reflecting on my time abroad. It was also a great way to hear about other people’s experiences with the phenomenon of reverse culture shock.
Taking time to reflect on experiences abroad gives students the opportunity to piece together their time away. It can help students identify the qualities and growth that they experienced abroad, and incorporate these aspects throughout their journey in their home country.
It is easy to fall back into old habits when surrounded by old environments, but reminding myself of the lessons I learned helped bring the glow back.
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Layla Bakhshandeh is a senior journalism and graphic communication student at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo and a member of EdSource’s California Student Journalism Corps.
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